Cha-Ching *snaps*

*Time-out*

Not 45 minutes after I wrote my last blog, my mom calls me up with concern about the post. Let me set the record straight: I'm not depressed, and I'm not suicidal, and I'm not in a dark funk or something like that. I'm just someone who actually feels and acknowledges feelings instead of being like the multitudes of people in the world today who deny what they feel and perpetuate a life lived in numbness. You don't need to worry about, it's those other people you should be concerned for.

My theory about those "numb ones" is that they have been suppressing all the emotion and feeling in their lives for so long that they have no choice but to continue doing so. You could call it a learned behaviour - a defense mechanism - that is a byproduct of living in a world (or more specifically - a society) that has fostered the growth of neglect, abuse, jealousy, pride, and selfishness. Someone once told me: "Hurt people, hurt people." That means that the people who get emotionally wounded are those who will likely wound others emotionally. A person can only take so much stress before they adapt to it in some way; and, a person can choose to accept the circumstances and process it by feeling emotion, or they can choose to "shut-off" their emotion in an effort to stave off the shock of being dealt such crappy cards in life. It's in the early stages of development that people will decide how they want to deal with the crap in life. Some lash out, some get quiet, some decide to grin and bear it, and others make the decision to "not feel." This reality is all too apparent to me, as I am no more than 10 miles from Columbine High School, in Littleton, Colorado. That tragedy was an example of forced adaptation, with some very complicated influences thrown into the mix. That's not healthy. Emotions and feelings are good things, if you process them and try to understand them (although the understanding part is not easy at times).

So, again, don't worry about me. I value life way too much to live with a frown on my face. It's those that live a life without stopping to feel life along the way, those are the ones you should be concerned for. I sure am concerned for them; because one day, for each one of them, they will wake up and they won't be able to hold back how they feel inside. And that's the thing with denying feelings - you never get rid of them, you just bank them for later. I sure don't want to be that person that wakes up at 40, and realizes that they never truly felt anything. Now that, that would depress me. I'd much rather feel the good and the bad with all that I am for all of my life, than feel good (really, false feeling) for 40 years and then realize it was all a lie.

So, when I express some true feelings/emotions, don't think it' the end of the world for me; because it's not - I'm just being true to myself. Okay?

Good :) I hope we're all on the same page now. Oh! Try not to take my blogs out of context (so if you see a song linked in my blog, maybe you should listen to it before you judge the words); it would really save me from have to take timeouts and write some much more than needed. ;)

*Time-in*


So, where was I....Oh yeah: Thursday.

Today was another spectacular day at Homestead. I made the best lunch today...mmmm. Shaved turkey on multi-grain, with mustard and miracle whip light (light tastes better - trust me). Triscuit rosemary and olive oil crackers (the best - trust me) with mild cracker-cut cheese (cracker-cut is the way to go!). Nine baby carrot sticks. One Del-Monte mandarin orange cup. Of course I also had a bottle of Aquafina with raspberry green tea crystal lite. Doesn't that all sound soooo good? If I didn't have a 6-inch sub leftover from dinner, I'd be making the same thing tomorrow! By the way, if you order a Chicken Fajita sub at Subway in the USA, you're only getting a grilled chicken sub with nothing special on it. That's just a heads up.

I had some cool customers on the phone today, and I ended up having some really long calls too. But, I made my first sale today! :D I sold a global listing package and a simplestore. *sales cherry has been popped* *snaps* One of my customers was building a site for a new croc-like shoe that he will be releasing in the spring. They blow crocs out of the water by far. He's likely getting a license with the NBA to market his shoes with team colors and logos. I was so stoked for this guy. He had three shoe designs flop before, and this one was his "last chance" in a way. I didn't sell him anything today, but I'm calling him back on Monday. I already have a bit of a following with some of the customers I've spoken with so far...and I don't know if that is going to be a problem. They all know me as Michael Brown, because the team I'm on is called the Brown Grizzlies and instead of giving out my real last name we give out our team color. I like the anonymity, and I love how I can pretend to give out my real name. The customers love it too. ;)

After work I went to the Park Meadows Mall (Colorado's only retail resort). They have good stores there, but the food court was total money. They have a Johnny Rocket's in the food court for crying out loud! And, they have a giant fireplace too (which I assume they use during the winter). Mike and Matt, they also have a Panda Express (lol). I picked up a Men's Health Book of Muscle at Borders (the most confusing bookstore), and then headed to Super Target for some hangers (I know - boring). At that point the yawns started to make their way out. So when I got home I wrote that quick (and misunderstood) blog, and then went to the clubhouse for a run. There was a gorgeous woman who was punishing herself (not too badly) on the stair-climber. I was running before she got there, and still running when she left. I think she was trying to keep up with me, because she would stop and get off, and then seemingly force herself back on the machine again. I wish I knew what it looks like when someone is checking you out at the gym, because I could swear she kept looking over at me with a certain look; but I didn't know what the heck was going on. I think I'm going to go for a run at the same time tomorrow...maybe she'll show up again, and maybe I can get a better read of the situation. Either way, cutie or no cutie - it was a great run! 45 minutes, 4 miles, 600 calories; and, the Cubs were losing to the Dodgers on TV. haha! Sorry Cubby fans. :)

Now I'm spent! The days are so much more full here in Denver; but, at the same time, it seems like time is crawling. It hasn't even been two weeks yet! What am I going to do with all this time?

Only time will tell.... :P

Well, for tonight I'm Audi 5000; sweet dreams friends,

-Dizzy in Denver


PS - To the anonymous poster who made the comment: "I think you have a lot more followers than you realize!!!"

That's nice of you to say, but this blog has zero (that's right, "0") subscribers, and I can count the number of comments on one hand. :P But that's okay! Whether it's 1 or 100, this blog is a success if it keeps a friend in the loop while I'm away. So, there's a bit of a lack of proof to back up what you say; but, if you truly think that, then I'll take it in faith too. :) Ciao for now, and thanks for making this blog a success!